Frequently Asked Questions

What is spouse/intimate partner or child abuse?

Physical injury that involves behavior such as hitting, kicking, slapping, punching, choking, and shaking. Sexual abuse that involves the use of force, threats or intimidation by the offender to engage in sexual activity. Emotional harm such as threats of violence that causes undue fear or anxiety, and disparaging remarks that lowers self-esteem and damages emotional well-being.

What causes spouse/intimate partner and child abuse?

Abuse usually occurs around the need to control. There is a belief that one has the right to keep family members "in line". Family violence is often a learned behavior from childhood. Family violence is NOT caused by such factors as stress, anger, job pressures, personal problems, or behavior by the victim. Offenders typically use these problems to justify or excuse their abusive behavior.

Where can I get help?

Refer to our POCs section to find a list of all Marine Corps Family Advocacy programs listed by installation with phone numbers and location.

What can I do if I need help and can't get to the Family Advocacy Office?

Family Advocacy Programs include Victim Advocacy. An Advocate is on call 24 hours a day to provide crisis intervention and referral to community resources. An Advocate will respond to victims of spouse abuse, child abuse and victims of sexual assault. An Advocate may accompany you to medical examinations and/or court proceedings, if needed. An Advocate can help to arrange lodging at a Battered Person's Shelter or Safe House.

Will my spouse get into trouble if I seek help?

This depends on the level of abuse. If there are injuries then the offender has broken the law and needs to be accountable for their behavior towards you or the children. The Marine Corps deals with abuse in two ways, if there is no injury or prior case and your spouse/intimate partner is willing to take responsibility for his or her actions and is amenable to treatment there will be no formal case and you and your spouse will be offered a treatment program that fits your needs. If there are injuries or a prior case than your spouse/ intimate partner will be mandated by his command to get help. Victims of abuse must be protected.

What are the rules of confidentiality?

If spouse/intimate partner or child abuse occurs, a commander must be told in order to make sure that family members receive the care and protection they need and deserve. It is true that, in the beginning, spouses may resent being told they have to get help, but when they experience the positive results that occur in the family, from the treatment program, there is an attitude change in a majority of the spouses/intimate partner for the better. Nothing you share with the counselor will be shared with your spouse/intimate partner unless you give permission.

What are the limitations regarding amount and types of counseling received?

Family Advocacy counselors assess safety first to determine what available services are most appropriate for the offender. Once it has been determined that risk for abuse has been lowered most couples go to individual and couple counseling, as well as participating in support groups. The average length of time generally lasts for three to six months.

What types of certification do the counselors hold?

All Family Advocacy counselors are required to have, at a minimum, a Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Counseling or Social Work and possess a certified state license.

How long does it take to complete the counseling treatment process?

That depends on the severity of the abuse, but most complete their counseling within six months.

Will my children experience long-term complications related to abusive behavior?

Research indicates that without some form of intervention, such as counseling, long-term complications are most likely to occur, such as nightmares, poor school performance and low self-esteem.

What are some early warning signs to look out for?

Abuse during courtship.
Alcohol or drug abuse.
Background of family violence.
Minimizing effects of violence.
Denial there is a problem.
Difficulty handling frustration.
Extreme jealousy
Mental abuse.
The need to control.
Sexual abuse.
Threats of violence.
Verbal abuse.

Has this happened to you?

Are you afraid of doing the "wrong" thing, even if you're not sure what that is?
Does your partner watch your every move?
Does your partner refuse to help when you're sick, injured or pregnant?
Does he or she "put you down" at home or in front of others?
Do you avoid discussing some subjects because you're afraid your partner's reaction will be violent?
Does your partner limit your friendships and where you can go?
Has he or she injured you physically, no matter how slightly?
Do you live in fear for yourself or your children?
Does your partner accuse you of being unfaithful, or being crazy, or being worthless?
Do you feel sexually ashamed or humiliated, or are you being sexually hurt?

All of these actions are abusive and indicate that help and support are needed.
It is never too soon, or too late, to seek help for yourself and your family.