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Overview | Definitions | Risk Factors | Why Marines May Not Seek Help
Prevention | Suggested Resources | Guidance | Key Terms
People who are mourning the death of a loved one experience a myriad of emotions and responses. Different kinds of losses dictate different responses, so not all of the suggestions for dealing with those in a grief situation will suit everyone. Likewise, no two people grieve alike, what works for one may not work for another. So whatever the response you see and what the mourner feels may be normal for that specific situation and Marine. There are many moods and expressions of grieving. There is even acute grief that causes a person to “feel like I'm going crazy.” Helping a Marine understand that acute grief reactions are normal reactions to significant losses can be very helpful. This is not something that the Marine can snap out of in a hurry. It will usually take some time and the amount of time is different for everyone and every situation.
- Loss:
- Loss includes not just the death of a loved one, but the loss of any treasured person or object. It might be the loss of a spouse through divorce or separation, or even the end of a relationship due to a geographical move. Loss may also include separation from a job, retirement from the Marines, losing a home to fire, a repossessed car, filing for bankruptcy, or putting a pet to sleep.
- Grief:
- Grief is the inner experience of someone who has experienced a loss. It may include emotions, thoughts and even behavioral symptoms such as crying or arguing. Severe symptoms of grief are considered normal following a loss, but can also be considered “abnormal grief” when the symptoms persist for long periods of time.
- Mourning:
- Mourning is the coping process, sometimes stages, one goes through after a difficult loss. It overlaps with grief, but can be defined more as the recovery process of which grief symptoms are a part. It is often defined as the public display of grief through one's behaviors.
Risk factors for complicated or severe grief reactions
- Sudden or unexpected death or loss
- Traumatic or violent death or loss
- Death or loss was perceived as preventable
- Marine is usually a loner
- Tendency to generalize or catastrophize losses or change
- Disconnection from normal support network
- Tendency toward self-destructive or suicidal behaviors
- Use of drugs or alcohol
- Unresolved past losses
- History of mental illness
- Deterioration in ability to care for self or others
- Radical lifestyle change
- Marines may expect themselves to be strong and not grieve.
- Marines may want to avoid the appearance of weakness in front of fellow Marines.
- Marines may be unprepared to cope with the inevitability of feeling powerless.
- Marines may think they are the only ones who can tend to the needs of their own.
- Marines may become discouraged and begin to question if there is any hope in the midst of suffering and death.
- Marines may experience a sense of being overwhelmed as they attempt to find meaning and purpose in what they do.
The attitude of taking care of our own and we are the best hits hard to a Marine who feels powerless in the face of death and loss. The Marine may want to restore order back to a pre-death state, but cannot.
- Present a command environment that values life, service, and respect for those who have gone before by speaking of the dead.
- Seek help from the Chaplain to train your Marines in how to handle loss and grief.
- Foster a command climate that encourages seeking help for problems before they start to affect job performance and mental health.
- Make sure your Marines feel free to avail themselves of the opportunities to attend and discuss combat stress prevention programs such as the Warrior Transition.
- Ensure they have access to worship materials, services of worship, and the opportunity to learn more about their faith because of the importance this is to who your Marines are spiritually.
- Discuss with your Chaplain the process to handle deaths both in the unit and in the families of your Marines.
Participation in the ritual and history of the Marine Corps is crucial to understand the process of moving on after loss or death but at the same time valuing and remembering. These lessons will help your Marines know what is expected and what is valued in life and in death and will correspond to any loss experience they have in life. Encourage discussion and exchange of stories, memories and thoughts of those who have died. Marines no longer spend weeks together on ships returning from deployments, so commands may need to find other ways to get them to accomplish this.
Chaplain: Provides spiritual guidance, personal counseling, and life issues counseling in a confidential setting. Chaplains are protected by the Uniform Code of Military Justice, which ensures confidentiality. Under military law, chaplains must keep conversations confidential when service members seek their spiritual guidance, either as a formal act of religion or a matter of conscience. Chaplains do not have to keep conversations confidential when a service member speaks with them for reasons other than spiritual guidance. When it is in the best interest of the person involved, the chaplain is expected to assist the individual in identifying the appropriate means of self-disclosure without violating the individual's trust. For additional information of the Chaplain's confidentiality guidelines, contact the base legal office or the installation chaplain's office.
Marine and Family Service Centers: Installation based resource centers providing programs as assistance for Marines and their families.
MCCS One Source: The services of MCCS One Source supplement the existing support system for Marines and their families by providing assistance 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via toll free telephone and Internet access. In addition, MCCS One Source supports geographically dispersed Marines and their families (recruiters, Inspector and Instructor staffs, and mobilized reservists) who do not have traditional services available. Resources are available on topics to include parenting and childcare issues, education services, financial information and counseling, legal, elder care, health and wellness, crisis support and relocation. Marines or family members seeking assistance can call 800-869-0278 in CONUS, or 800-8690-2788 OCONUS. MCCS One Source Online can be visited at www.mccsonesource.com, userid: marines, password: semperfi.
Other Marines: This is one of the greatest resources available to our Marines. They have each other to talk to and get support from. Many have experiences that allow for support of the same type of loss. Often they will turn to each other when they will not turn to anyone else. This needs to be encouraged and valued.
MCO P1700.24B Marine Corps Personal Services Manual
MCO 3040.4E Marine Corps Casualty Procedures Manual See section 6303 and 8310 or search for the word “grief”
DoD Directive 6490.1 Mental Health Evaluations of the members of the Armed Forces
Chaplain:- Provides spiritual guidance, personal counseling, and life issues counseling in a confidential setting. Chaplains are protected by the Uniform Code of Military Justice, which ensures confidentiality. Under military law, chaplains must keep conversations confidential when service members seek their spiritual guidance, either as a formal act of religion or a matter of conscience. Chaplains do not have to keep conversations confidential when a service member speaks with them for reasons other than spiritual guidance. When it is in the best interest of the person involved, the chaplain is expected to assist the individual in identifying the appropriate means of self-disclosure without violating the individuals trust. For additional information of the Chaplains confidentiality guidelines, contact the base legal office or the installation chaplain's office.
Command Directed Evaluation (CDE):- When a Marine will not go for a Mental Health Evaluation for suicide risk, and there is good cause to suspect the Marine is at risk, the unit commander will have to initiate a Command-Directed Mental Health Evaluation and order the Marine to submit for evaluation. This requires specific sequence of actions due to the legal issues involved.
Family Concerns:- Family Concerns or other stressful situations can hinder the grieving process and exacerbate stress. Family concerns may include, helping family members get through their own grief, having to be strong in the face of others and not being able to communicate one's own grief, day to day household concerns that may be hard to manage, and child care.
Services include information on spouse and child abuse, victim advocacy, counseling for individuals, couples and children, as well as support groups for men and women. These services are provided, free of charge, for those seeking help. Additionally, classes on stress management, anger management, child and teen parenting, financial management and building self-esteem are offered to educate individuals in dealing with stressful situations.
Click here for more information from the Leaders Guide on financial issues
Financial Concerns:- Financial strain may cause behavioral changes in an individual and has been linked to depression, which can impact duty performance, mission readiness, and interpersonal relationships. Financial concerns that are faced during loss may include, changing over bank accounts, credit cards, billing status, etc.
Click here for more information from the Leaders Guide on financial issues
Financial Counselor:- Command Financial Specialist:
Unit level Staff NCO or Officer designated by the command and trained by the MCCS Personal Financial Management (PFM) Specialist to provide financial classes and basic counseling to Marines within the unit.
Learn More About Their Faith:- Bibles studies, Christian Education Classes, CCD Classes, study groups, Pastoral Counseling with a Chaplain, etc.
Legal Concerns:- Legal Concerns during the grief process can add to the stress of the initial loss. Legal concerns associated with grief and loss include probating the will of the deceased, dealing with issues of power of attorney, etc.
Click here for more information from the Leaders Guide on legal issues
Legal Support:- Marine Corps judge advocates are trained to help your Marines solve legal problems, and are familiar with military-specific laws that are designed to address many problems unique to the military community. The nearest Marine Corps legal assistance officeis the best source of initial help for Marines in need of legal support.
Marine and Family Services (MFS):- Encompasses those programs focusing upon the needs of the individual concerning education, prevention and intervention /treatment programs. Departments housed in this area will include Retired Activities, Transition Assistance Program, Lifelong Learning Education Programs, Libraries, Child, Youth and Teen Programs, New Parent Support, Exceptional Family Member Program, Information Referral, Suicide Awareness, Intervention and Treatment, and auxiliary programs such as the Armed Services YMCA and Navy/Marine Corps Relief Society. For more information please contact your installations Marine and Family Services Center.
Marine and Family Services (MFS) Center:The EFMP Coordinators are located at the MFSCs. MFSCs also offers a wide variety of counseling services for families who may need some help in coping with the emotional side or caring for a family member with special needs. The MFSCs also have financial counselors who can assist families who need help achieving their financial goals or when they need guidance when problems arise. Click here for more details.
Marine and Family Services Counselors:- Credentialed therapist employed by the Marine Corps to provide therapy for Marines and their families.
Mental Health:- Individual, group, marriage (etc) counseling programs available at MCCS and through MCCS One Source.
Military OneSource:- The services of Military OneSource supplement the existing support system for Marines and their families by providing assistance 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via toll free telephone and Internet access. In addition, Military OneSource supports geographically dispersed Marines and their families (recruiters, Inspector and Instructor staffs, and mobilized reservists) who do not have traditional services available. Resources are available on topics to include parenting and childcare issues, education services, financial information and counseling, legal, elder care, health and wellness, crisis support and relocation. Marines or family members seeking assistance can call 800-342-9647. Military OneSource Online can be visited at www.militaryonesource.com.
More Intervention and Professional Assistance:- In complicated grief cases, professional help is required to help your Marine move forward. This takes time and will mean time away from work on a regular basis. Professional help may include seeking assistance from the Chaplain, mental health, medical treatment facility, Family Advocacy, Marine and Family Services or MCCS One Source.
Mutual Consent:- Each Marine must agree to be a part of a process where they freely reveal their identity to a group that they are a person suffering from or have suffered from grief.
Other Marines:- This is one of the greatest resources available to our Marines. They have each other to talk to and get support from. Many have experiences that allow for support of the same type of loss. Often they will turn to each other when they will not turn to anyone else. This needs to be encouraged and valued.
Services of Worship:- Divine Services, prayer meetings, etc.
Settling Their Affairs:- Often there will be multiple issues to deal with when a spouse or family member dies such as financial, legal, relocation, property, etc. These will vary with families. If a survivor of an estate that must be settled, disputes between family members can surface. This can result in serious disruption and distress to your Marine.
Unit Chaplain:- Most units have chaplains assigned. Sometimes they will be at the battalion or squadron level if the unit is not large enough to have their own.
Worship Material:- Examples include text related to faith group or denomination such as Bibles, Missals, religious education booklets, etc.
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